Monday, May 25, 2015

Tom's Record of the Area

This is the record of the area that I wrote while super bored. It covers the Brea first area.

Brea 1 

1. In the beginning, the mission president created the area

2. And the area was without form, and void, and the darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the sister missionaries moved upon the face of the area. And it was the first day.

3. And the mission president said: Let there be elders. And there were elders. And the mission president saw that the elders were good, and he divided the elders from the sisters. 

4. And the mission president said: Let there be a firmament between the missionaries, that it may divide the elders from the sisters. And the mission president created the firmament, and divided the elders which were north of the firmament from the sisters who were south. 

5. And the mission president called the area north Brea 1, and he called the area south Brea 3. And it was the second day. 

6. And on the third day the mission president ended the work which he had made, and he rested on the third day from all the work he had made.

7. And the mission president blessed the day which he had rested on, and called it P-day. And the day was blessed for rest and preparation for the week ahead.

8. And the mission president planted an apartment eastward on Tamarack, in the Brea 1 area; and an apartment in the Brea 3 area. But lo, the sister missionaries retained possession of the apartment on Tamarack. 

9. Thus, the elders had to bike from Brea 3 to Brea 1 each day to perform their labor that the mission president had appointed them in that area. And they were not pleased.

10. And the names of the elders were thus: Elder Shawcroft and Elder Spencer, having been both called from far-off lands to begin work there at the dictate of the mission president. And lo, they were whitewashing. 

11. And Elder Shawcroft and Elder Spencer did perform well the work which had been appointed them, and did walk in righteousness before the mission president. And Elder Mackey did flee his wicked companion and dwell there for a short time before returning to the land from whence he came. 

12. But lo, after a time, Elder Shawcroft was called off to a distant land to prepare for the mantle of the zone leader, which would fall upon him in time. And in that time, the sisters were removed from their car, and were given bikes, and they did cede the apartment on Tamarack to the elders. 

13. And Elder Spencer did receive a new companion, Elder Garven. And the mission president saw that this was good. 

14. And it came to pass that as Elder Garven was striving to complete the task which he had been appointed, that he was wounded in the leg. And it did seem to the elders that their labors were over, as Elder Garven could not bike. And there was much sorrowings in the land. 

15. But lo, in his wisdom, the mission president did give them a noble steed, even a Toyota Corolla, that they might continue their labors in bringing to pass much righteousness. And the elders did rejoice much, and praise the mission president in his goodness and tender mercies. And thus did the work continue.

16. And it came to pass that Elder Spencer was carried away by the Spirit to serve in a far-off land, and he did go. And Elder Simpson did come into the land of Brea 1, to serve as companion to Elder Garven. 

17. And lo, as they were serving, they filled the area book with junk investigators. And this would cause much consternation among the later missionaries. And the mission president did see their great wickedness, and did banish Elder Garven to Brazil.

18. And the mission president did call another elder, Elder Wilding, to fill the vacancy left in his place. And they did labor much. And before the mission president could remove the noble steed which he had granted unto Elder Garven by reason of his much weakness, Elder Wilding also did receive a wound to his knee, even to the removing his ability to bike. And thus was the noble steed retained in the area, even to the present day.

19. But lo, Elder Simpson was sent to a distant land to serve elsewhere, and Elder Cipcic was called to serve in the land. And there was discontent and murmuring in the land under his rule. 

20. And to Elder Wilding was given the judgement seat of Leader of the District, to rule and reign under the benevolent hand of the zone leaders, Elder Childs and Elder Halle. But lo, the work in this area was still much hampered.

21. And Elder Cipcic was sent off to the land of Anaheim, to serve with Elder Spotten. And Elder Wilding was found great with child, and brought forth a new elder, Elder Battraw. 

22. And under their combined rule, the area book was finally cleansed of all the junk investigators that had been added in unrighteousness. And much work was accomplished, even the bringing of many souls unto Christ. 

23. But lo, the ruler, Elder Wilding, was called to be king over the Fullerton YSA, and the judgement seat passed to the Placentia 1 elders. And Elder Mackey was sent to fill the void.

24. And there was much rejoicing in the land over the work that was done, and the incredible blessings of many opening doors in response to the importunate knocking of Elder Mackey. And many who had been in the area book for forever because they never answered their doors were found and sifted, that they might choose righteousness.

25. And I, Elder Battraw, do close this chapter of the record, having written it to record the history of this area. And this record do I make of mine own hand; in other words, I, Elder Battraw, do write this record.

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