Welcome back to the uniquely excellent weekly email of Elder Battraw! Every day brings change. My phone can't even recognize my fingerprint anymore.
We have been growing ripe with trunkiness this past week. I offer unto you all a modern parable-
Once upon a time, there was a group of missionaries. They all got together one morning and cut a tree down. The end!
This is actually a true story and evidence is available here:
I
hope you all learned something from that modern parable. Just like with
our stubborn trunks and trunkiness, we just gotta get together with our
friends and cut it down and out of our lives. If you don't have
friends, then no worries, go on a mission and you'll make lots of them.
Other nice events that happened this week, because pday is not long enough to write then all out in detail-
The End of the World:
Major city in Perú is smitten with plagues and afflictions
Hazardous Hopping:
Elder Battraw nearly gets sent home for injuries while parkouring through river boulders
Movie Moment:
We
had a lit movie night last monday with our friends and converts,
watched Joseph Smith, Prophet of the Restoration, tears were shed and it
was excellent. As well as cookies
Super Sleepover:
The secretaries of the mission visited us and we had a Super Sleepover Party Bash. Would recommend
Crafts and Construction:
I built an amazing new cardboard house for a convert's new baby rabbit, ears included
The Return of Richard:
Richard
comes back????? And he kindly invited us for a bite to eat and a sip to
drink, which we politely rain-checked him to avoid 1. wasting time and
2. being sacrificed to demons
Anti-Anti:
A man speaks all manner of blashpemies and apostate statements to us, we kindly smile and chuckle
Tree Triumph:
We
successfully topple the king of the mountain tree from somebody's
backyard, Elder Watkins avoids imminent destruction by the measure of
one pinky toe
Practice Makes Perfect:
I practice the wrong song for sacrament meeting only for God to come in and save the day in a miraculous manner
That's all for this week- don't cry that it's over, be happy that it happened 
-Elder Battraw
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