"I... am STEVE." That's the moment that
changed me forever. Jack Black's performance of Steve was inspiring and
will go down in history as one of the great's, just like Heath Ledger's
Joker. Fortunately, I recently had the opportunity to have my own
"live-action" Minecraft movie. The boys and I got together to move
mountains, literally. We had live-action pickaxes and shovels and we
mined a mountain down to rubble. I, too, am Steve.
This
week was very fast! Monday through Friday felt like two days, Saturday
felt like four and Sunday was Sunday. So I suppose it was still the same
length as a normal week. Even though it was still seven days, it felt
like a Really Cool seven days, a very complete missionary week with
service, rain, lessons, miracles, and our friend getting baptized at the
end of it! I could go into depth about all of that, but I won't.
Instead, here's a Really Cool summary.
The End
It's transfer week 
I'm probably staying here in the rainy mountains of Chota, my companion
is likely leaving to his last area where he will be laid to rest.
I'm probably staying here in the rainy mountains of Chota, my companion
is likely leaving to his last area where he will be laid to rest.Pole
For
reasons unknown to man, we move a very long log up a hill and plant it
in the ground. Perhaps a confused gardener trying to grow a new tree,
perhaps an elaborate prank. Regular surveillance will be kept on it.
The Great Dance Battle of '26
Elder
Watkins vs. Elder Battraw- Elder Watkins wins with a forbidden
technique, the "Donald Trump YMCA." Onlookers report lightning and
thunder on-scene.
Minecraft Dog
A cube-shaped dog is spotted in a local suburb of Chota. 4 bones were offered, they unfortunately proved ineffective.
The Chota World Cup
We
were lucky enough to witness the greatest match of soccer we may ever
see. There was betrayal, friendships formed, goals scored, injuries, and
undoubtedly core memories made.
I tell the tale
of Big Blue, a middle aged man fighting to make a name for himself. As
the name suggests, he wears blue, and thinks himself big. He comes, he
plays, he leaves all the wiser.
This particular
match was the grand finals. The score was 1-1, only a few minutes
remaining. The hero of our story is a backup to a backup player, but
with the high level of violence and injuries in this match, it was his
grand opportunity to shine. He takes the field with thunder and quickly
has the ball in his possesion. The opposing team is pressuring him but
makes the fatal error of brushing him as they pass by. He was waiting
for this very moment.
A small smile grows on his
lips. With a bloodcurdling scream, he does a full olympic acrobatic
routine, ending with a QUADRUPLE backflip, landing on his back.
Heroically clutching his leg, he rocks back and forth, face clutched in
potent agony. Medics rush the field- they find no injury at all, save
for grass stains on his beautiful blue shorts. The ref gives no foul, to
which Big Blue is enraged. After his polished Oscar-worthy performance,
he will not stand for this disgrace.
He charges
the ref, and after a few curt words, the ref is ejected from the game
and the penalty for injuring our hero is a first in all of soccer
history- a point penalty. The score now stands at 1-0, Big Blue's favor.
With only a 10 seconds left, there was no hope of a comeback. The
sidelines charge Big Blue and give him the traditional Sporade shower,
and he is carried off into the sunset with a trophy in hand.
Piano
I played piano pretty well on Sunday
Pushups
Cool goal hit! Finishing the month of January of just over 10k pushups total. Cool pushups stats:
That's all for Battraw: Weekly. Cya next time, stay fly!
-Elder Battraw
